Saturday, July 16, 2011

Roller Coaster Ride

What an interesting time of life. I guess I could begin any journal entry that way, regardless of what time of my life it has been. Whatever the time is, it’s always fascinating when the thoughts and feelings are right there in your mind and heart and on the tip of your tongue. Then with time they fade and new ones take their place and those become surprisingly interesting themselves. As can be said of many times, this time is uniquely filled with ups and downs. Moments of carefree abandon and glowing dreams, as well as moments heavy with anxieties, concerns, even sadness.

With uncertainty comes the roller coasters of life. One minute your senses are tickled to exploding and your arms are lifted above you with the summer air rushing against your skin and through your hair. You’re weightless and flying and your vocal chords bust free in a joyous shriek you didn’t know you were capable of. Then out of nowhere you’re slammed back in your seat and you can’t tell if you’re heavy or if everything above you is heavy, but you’re being pushed down even though you’re trying to move upward. You’re moving so much slower than just a second ago, and it seems like that turning point will never come again. You think, “How is this happening? I was just flying, I swear!” Eventually the turning point will come again.

After you get off the ride and before you get on the next one, sometimes your knees feel a little shaky and you can’t help but think that the flying wouldn’t be what it is without the heaviness. Of course, that thought always only comes in hindsight. When the world is pushing you down in your seat, it’s hard to wait for the next time you get to fly.